


Bleeding Out For You

by Michael Alexander (MistressOakdown)



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Koschei being depressed, Multi, Song fic, Suicidal Thoughts, Thoschei, someone give him a hug please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:49:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23061241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressOakdown/pseuds/Michael%20Alexander
Summary: Prompt: [Inspired by “Bleeding Out” by Imagine Dragons] I was listening to music in the car, and this song came on. I just immediately got Master feels from it, so here we are. I’m also finishing this at 3 AM, if that tells you anything about how stable my life is right now.A/N: I did not like the S12 finale, nor will I include it in my writing very often (only if it’s like this, and it’s a vent fic). I just had this idea, and wanted to get it out.Warnings: SPOILERS FOR THE SEASON 12 FINALE
Relationships: The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Bleeding Out For You

_ ~  _ _ 'Cause I'm bleeding out, said _ **_if the last thing that I do_ ** _ ~ _

_ ~  _ _ Is to bring you down, I'll bleed out for you _ _ ~ _

_ ~  _ _ So I bare my skin and I count my sins _ _ ~ _

_ ~  _ _ And  _ **_I close my eyes and I take it in_ ** _ ~ _

_ ~  _ _ And I'm bleeding out _ _ ~ _

_ ~  _ _ I'm bleeding out for you _ _ ~ _

He could feel his life force raging within him. The knowledge that everything he’d been through from the age of eight years old, barely even out of the  _ loom _ by Gallifreyan standards, had been some sick, misguided attempt as resurrection by the very people that had now used him as a lifeline back to the waking world. Not only that, but for them to now threaten The Doctor, the one member of his race that had at least  _ attempted _ to understand. The Doctor, the man who never uses guns yet held one in his hand, who could’ve just as easily ended his life and saved them all, yet found a pacifist route to take, as he always did. Rassilon had the  _ gall _ to  _ threaten _ him. ‘You’ll die with me, Doctor’, and the fool just stood there, waiting for death. The  _ idiot _ . Every cell in his body felt like it was burning. It was as if he was regenerating, yet he knew he’d be meeting a much more permanent end. He stepped behind The Doctor, his eyes locked on their common enemy, the man who’d conceived the plan to turn  _ The Master _ into a mere  _ puppet _ of tyrants and war criminals who should’ve met their end when it was written. 

He felt the energy surge through him. If he was meant to die in the service of others, he was damn sure that it wasn’t going to be  _ Rassilon _ , nor was it to be any of the idiots surrounding him. It would be for the only one in the room that had at least given him a chance. His movements, his attacks, his words, everything seemed to be on autopilot, every step bringing him closer to the timelock. He could feel its pull, dragging him with them back into the pits of hell, where he  _ knew _ he’d be meeting his end, whether by the expulsion of his lifeforce or by the hands of his fellow Timelords. As he felt the ground beneath him start to melt away, the cold tile of the Naismith mansion disappearing as the lock did its work, he dropped his head, screwing his eyes shut. Now, maybe he’d get some peace and  _ quiet. _

_ ~ When the day has come, but  _ **_I've lost my way around_ ** _ ~ _

_ ~ And the seasons stop and hide beneath the ground ~ _

_ ~ When the sky turns gray, and everything is screaming ~ _

_ ~ _ **_I will reach inside, just to find my heart is beating_ ** _ ~ _

She sat at the piano bench, absentmindedly picking out a tune as she let her thoughts drift. She thought about everything that had transpired to get her where she was. It was rather cruel of her to lie about Gallifrey like that, she supposed. Then again, he should be used to her lying by now. It was all part of their game. She thought about their interaction in the graveyard. Now  _ there _ was a moment that she’d been  _ brutally honest _ . She’d lied to him about so much, but not that. ‘I need my friend back’, she’d said, and for once, she was telling nothing but the truth. She was even willing to go through the hell of being his  _ pet _ , just to even  _ try _ to regain his approval. Kept in a cage, visited whenever  _ he _ deemed her behavior worthy of attention. Six  _ months _ she’d been left alone to her thoughts. Six months of him going about his day, interacting with the monkeys that attended the university. Their lives were so short, so fleeting, and yet he deemed them more worthy of his time than her, his best friend, his equal, the only person even  _ remotely _ like him. Now, he thought her good enough to be put through a  _ test _ , like a puppy in obedience class. One last trial to see if he’d  _ fixed _ her yet. ‘Where there’s tears, there’s hope’, he’d said, and yet, she felt like she wasn’t the only one continually lying through her teeth.

_ ~  _ **_You tell me to hold on_ ** _ , oh you tell me to hold on ~ _

_ ~ But innocence is gone, and  _ **_what was right is wrong_ ** _ ~ _

“Your version of good is not absolute. It’s vain, and arrogant, and sentimental”. She knew she was right when she said that, but she’d  _ tried _ . She’d tried to walk the line, to hold onto what was left of herself without losing him. What had that gained her? Shot in the back by herself, left to die on the rotting leaves of a cold, rainy forest. The Doctor, once again choosing to leave her in order to save total strangers. She’d tried to bring her other self to her side, but she had been right in what she’d told The Doctor all those months ago. He was always the one that ran, her trying so hard to keep up. Perhaps her past self was right in what he did. Perhaps The Doctor had poisoned her mind, letting Stockholm syndrome complete any method of brainwashing he’d enacted. Maybe she deserved this. She wasn’t herself anymore, and she knew it. She was some twisted amalgamation of herself and The Doctor’s  _ dream _ for her, his ideal pet: Obedient, gentle, toothless, declawed to the point of uselessness. A good conversation partner, and nothing more. She knew she could save herself. She was  _ The Master _ . She always had a way out. One thing was for sure, though. If she did manage to come back, she would never bend a knee to him again. She was The Master. She  _ was, wasn’t she _ ?

_ ~ When the hour is nigh, and  _ **_hopelessness is sinking in_ ** _ ~ _

_ ~ And the wolves all cry to feel they're not worth hollering ~ _

_ ~ When your eyes are red and  _ **_emptiness is all you know_ ** _ ~ _

_ ~ With the darkness fed, I will be your scarecrow ~ _

She didn’t know. He had to remind himself of that. As her eyes darted between her companions and himself, her eyes wide with worry, he had to remind himself who he was. He was  _ The Master _ . This is what he was meant to do. This was all he was good for, as far as the rest of the universe was concerned. The Yin to her Yang, the dark to her light, the counterbalance following in her footsteps wherever she went, always waiting for just the right time to spring up. He had to remember that she didn’t  _ know  _ how his last life ended, not that she’d given him the opportunity to explain. She never did.

_ ~ You tell me to hold on, oh you tell me to  _ **_hold on_ ** _ ~ _

_ ~  _ **_But innocence is gone_ ** _ , and what was right is wrong ~ _

They’d lied to her. They’d lied, manipulated her just like they had him so long ago. The only good thing to ever come out of their disgusting society, and it ended up being the root of it  _ all _ .  **_She_ ** was the root of it all. He could almost  _ feel _ it in his blood. She was the beginning of everything he’d ever been, and she’d be around after he was long gone. Still, it didn’t matter. They’d  _ hurt her _ . There was only one individual that had permission to harm The Doctor in any way as far as he was concerned, and they were not them. They had to  _ pay _ for what they did. They had to suffer, as he knew she was going to once she found out. He had to keep up the act. Keep The Doctor’s attention long enough to tell her. 

Even now, as he waited for her to access the boundary, he could feel his mind pulsing with pain. Every experience having ever occurred in Timelord history was bouncing around his skull. Every death, every pain, every child’s whimper, was now his to  _ suffer through _ . He’d only been messing around, just curious as to what the oh-so-powerful Timelords had been hiding all this time. He hadn’t meant for this to happen. Still, at least some good would come out of it. He could break The Doctor with this. He knew he could. It was only fair, given that the new knowledge he’d acquired had shattered every  _ ounce _ of who he was, who he’s ever been. It was only fair, but he was willing to suffer if it meant getting to tell The Doctor the truth.

_ ~  _ _ 'Cause I'm bleeding out, said if the last thing that I do _ _ ~ _

_ ~  _ _ Is to  _ **_bring you down_ ** _ , I'll bleed out for you _ _ ~ _

_ ~  _ **_So I bare my skin_ ** _ ~ _

_ ~  _ **_And I count my sins_ ** _ ~ _

_ ~  _ _ And I close my eyes _ _ ~ _

_ ~  _ _ And I take it in _ _ ~ _

The Matrix and the Cyberium felt as if they were ripping his mind apart, both entities seemingly fighting as to which one could do the most damage. He lay on the ground, having only narrowly escaped the detonation of the death particle from that old idiot that had stayed behind. He debated his choice. Maybe he should’ve stayed behind, let the particle take him along with everything else. After all, he’d been thrilled with the concept hours ago, when he’d been what he thought was mere seconds away from  _ freedom _ , or even only moments ago, when The Doctor held the trigger. But that was just it, wasn’t it? They always knew that one of them would end the other, he’d just always assumed that  _ he’d _ be the one to pull the trigger. They’d always been  _ linked _ . One couldn’t exist without the other.  _ A cosmos without The Doctor scarcely bears thinking about _ . But did she hold that same sentiment? Now that they knew that she was so far  _ beyond _ him? He thought neither could survive alone, just to find out that she’s done  _ exactly that _ for Gods know how long. There was no significance to him anymore. He wasn’t the only one like her. He wasn’t her best friend, nor her best enemy. He was  _ nothing _ . He was just a simple grain of sand, annoyingly ingrained into the grand painting that was The Doctor’s life. He’d survived long enough to tell her the truth, to dismantle any grandiose beliefs of Gallifrey. With him gone, she’d be able to properly let go of their desolate childhoods, the pasts that they’d ran so hard to get away from. There’d be nothing holding her back anymore. She has companions die in her name all the time, this wasn’t much different. There was only one separation that he could think of, as he felt his grip on reality beginning to fade.

She usually misses them.

_ ~  _ _ And I'm bleeding out _ _ ~ _

_ ~  _ _ I'm bleeding out  _ **_for you_ ** _ ~ _

**_~ For you ~_ **


End file.
